NOTHING and NO ONE can prepare you for the inevitable. Even when it’s expected. There’s no pretty way to get through the mourning after the loss of a loved one.
I should have seen it coming. Ominous events started happening… My computer died. My car died… then…. My Dad died. All of the stuff “breaking” in my life was like a horror movie. “What’s next, locusts?”
I’ve never experienced so much hurt as the passing of my Dad. It was as if he took my life with him. I lost my voice, my writing, my focus… completely a ship adrift on the concrete sidewalks of the city.
That’s kind of ironic because my Dad owned a boat and loved fishing.
“You can’t get there from here” is what I heard blowing in the wind as I faced all of these losses. Maybe the grand take away from all of this is to enjoy the moment and let go – of people and things. I can’t… I’m still in the mourning after…
There are so many more discussions I would have liked to have had with him – just to listen to the sound of his voice and his confident spirit. Aw heck – he had swagger, charisma, bravado! Admit it – to a child, the man in your life is THE MAN IN YOUR LIFE. He is mine, whether he’s with us in the flesh or not.
Now that we are handling his affairs… I’m understanding more of his thoughts and more of his ways. I’m thankful for him in my life.
It’s still the mourning after.
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